Showing posts with label images. Show all posts
Showing posts with label images. Show all posts
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Sunday, September 25, 2005
For Unhappy Spouses Everywhere
I took this picture today near Conneaut Lake Park and I thought I'd share it with you.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Saturday, July 30, 2005
The Truth About Me and D.C., See?
Today is both my birthday and the last day of my internship downtown. They're taking me to lunch today for a goodbye/birthday meal and after that I'll start packing up my stuff and then head out for good.
I had a lot of great times. I know that I've shared some of them with you. Michael Douglas was a recent one. The mutant food court. These were the highlights, but they were not the norm. A lot of the days I didn't see famous celebrities and a lot of the days I went to Potbelly's instead of the food court I've spoken so fondly of. I think that unknowingly, maybe even unconsciously, I've been leading you on; I've been making you think my job has been something it isn't. For that, I'm really sorry and I hope we can still be good friends. It's only fair that I let you see what it was like on the days when there wasn't a bomb threat, and the guy on the corner by Farragut Park didn't have a sign that contained a clever, hobo quip aimed at George W. Bush that involved him being either a necromancer or a wolfman.
It's only fair that you know the truth--to know what it was really like.
I had a lot of great times. I know that I've shared some of them with you. Michael Douglas was a recent one. The mutant food court. These were the highlights, but they were not the norm. A lot of the days I didn't see famous celebrities and a lot of the days I went to Potbelly's instead of the food court I've spoken so fondly of. I think that unknowingly, maybe even unconsciously, I've been leading you on; I've been making you think my job has been something it isn't. For that, I'm really sorry and I hope we can still be good friends. It's only fair that I let you see what it was like on the days when there wasn't a bomb threat, and the guy on the corner by Farragut Park didn't have a sign that contained a clever, hobo quip aimed at George W. Bush that involved him being either a necromancer or a wolfman.
It's only fair that you know the truth--to know what it was really like.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Implausible Invention #1: The FriendFinder3000
For the guy who's got everything except a mountain of women. Put on the FriendFinder3000 and watch the ladies pour in. WARNING: FriendFinder3000 is not a toy and once activated sex is almost always unavoidable.Key:
A: High quality titanium helmet offering unparalleled support and comfort for the guy on the go. Breathing vents keep head cool even in the hottest of night clubs.
B: Industrial strength pointing arrow expertly indicates who has the big penis. Guaranteed not to point at anyone besides the wearer or your money back.
C: Commercial grade billboard featuring the words "BIG PENIS" displayed in flashing yellow lights. Flash rate can be set to either FAST, MEGA FAST, or SEIZURE. An optional brightness upgrade can be added to flood even the darkest corner of the room with migraine-inducing light.
D: Steel-reinforced counterweights give the FriendFinder3000 perfect balance even while breakdancing.
E: Rechargable Lithium-Ion battery that'll keep the FriendFinder3000 up and running at all hours of the night. No need to ever turn it off! Ever!
SMALL PRINT: FriendFinder Inc. is not responsible for any bodily harm or mental anguish stemming from inconsistencies between the FriendFinder3000 billboard message and actual penis size.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Friday, July 22, 2005
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
