The Power of Shopping

So....I got into medical school.

Yeah, it's awkward, I know.

I don't know much about fate or divine intervention. Furthermore, as a dude, I've lived my life completely oblivious to the Power of Shopping. I capitalize, embolden and italicize the term because this is the highest honor one can bestow upon something on the Internet. I firmly believe that it was the PoS that brought me the joy of an acceptance. Let me divulge:

On Monday, July 14th I walked into JCPenney in Butler, Pennsylvania and purchased two ties for an upcoming job "meeting." Everybody said it was going to be an interview, but the lab director said meeting, so it turns out I was right and they were all wrong. The ties were quite nice, nothing over the top, and I paid the clerk $3.16 TOTAL.

This should have been my first clue. The ties themselves were 95% off, and therefore, before tax, $1.58 each. The ties were trying to tell me something, but I was too naive to notice it. Well it turns out, I was accepted on July 16th--sixteen being the amount of cents I paid for my two ties. What's more, July is the seventh month, and taking the remaining numbers from my tie shopping and doing a little "24 Game" mathematics, we find that [[(8 - 5) - 3] + 1] * [9 - [(5 - 4) + 1]] = 7.

Amazingly simple, yes.

So the moral is, I should have known I was going to get accepted to medical school, but limitations set forth by my gender held me back from becoming enlightened to the fact.

It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's....A Blog Entry??

I am not a person who likes to admit that they've made a mistake, botched a cookie recipe, left the gate open allowing the dog to escape, or made a grievous mathematical miscalculation which leads to an extended yet refreshing vacation away from a blog. And so as I sit here eating my sugarless sugar cookies, typing these words, I'm going to skip right over the fact that I've been absent for almost a year when I said it'd only be a month or so.

It's been a long "month," to say the least. Normal month-long activities have begun and have come to an end. I finished a year of college in a month. In two days time I will have squeezed 8 months of dating my girlfriend into a single month. I studied for the MCAT for 5 months, took the test, waited a month to get my scores which makes for a grand total of 6 months, and I did it all in, yes it's true, one little month. Fantastic, I know.

And so as you all may have guessed (though, there can't possibly be any of you readers left), the blog...is back. I come to you today as I did so long ago--with a couple of thoughts in my head and an unending supply of words at my disposal with which to overstate and misrepresent each and every one.

So bye, for now, my fishsticks await. I shall return, and shant be late. Toodles.

P.S. That was a poem! Hehehehe....typical fashion, my friends. Typical fashion.

Happy Anniversary, Let's Party

To celebrate the wondrous fact that this blog has been around for ONE whole year, I am not going to post an entry for ONE whole month. The mathematical reasoning for this shocking decision is as follows:

x = 1/a

where x is the # of months you must wait before posting again as to properly celebrate your blog's anniversary, and a is the current anniversary (a = 1, 2, 3, 4, ..., end of the Internet).

I bet you thought the relationship was directly proportional, eh? Well you were wrong. It's inversely proportional.

With a basic understanding of mathematical limits you would notice that as a goes to "end of Internet," x goes to zero. Logically this would mean you would have to post two posts simultaneously, the anniversary post and the following post. Without getting into relativity, spacetime planes, or hyperbolic-orthogonal points, let's just say this would be hard. So don't let your blog last this long. Seriously, only a really arrogant person would honestly think their blog was significant enough to last all the way to the end of the Internet. Don't be that person.

So anyway...see you in September or maybe the end of August.