San Francisco: If You Were A Robot You'd Be Home

Dim Sum. It's Chinese and translates literally to "pushy waiters bringing you food you don't want to eat because it's a chicken foot." I partook in this "Dim Sum" today while in San Francisco and I must say it was traumatic to say the least. I refuse to think about what I may have unknowingly consumed.

There is this street in the city that is ridiculously crooked. It is probably the worst tourist attraction ever because it was created to be a tourist attraction and the only point of the road is to be a tourist attraction. I can imagine the thought process that led to the creation of this crooked street. Some guy in the San Francisco Bureau of Tourism thought one day, "Hmm, the Golden Gate Bridge is not enough of a reason for people to come to see our city. Perhaps we should create an exaggeratedly crooked street that has absolutely no purpose and is completely impractical and useless." I just don't understand why San Francisco didn't just do what any other self-respecting city would do if they wanted more visitors--bake the world's largest pizza.

In other news, I rode a cable car for the first time ever. I have come to realize that San Francisco is the closest thing this world has to a mechanical city because of the cables that constantly run beneath the streets. This of course, leads to the question of why there aren't that many robots in the city.

And what is the deal with the San Francisco homeless population? First off, I saw maybe three homeless dudes and that's pretty sad. You can't call yourself a real-deal city without an overflowing street-dweller population. And the hobos themselves, Jesus, it's almost as if the city puts actors on the streets who pretend to be homeless people and who make sure to appear happy as not to depress the people driving by. Honest to god, ALL the people on the street had signs that had some variation on the phrase:

Any little bit helps, even a great big smile.

They even drew a smiley face at the bottom. If that doesn't just make you throw up, then there's something seriously wrong with you. Where's the guy with the sign that says:

I'm tricking you into thinking I'll use the money you give me for food and clothing but I really just need to replenish my illicit drug supply and hire a prostitute.

Honesty is important...even when you sleep in a box.