Not Doctors Yet

A lot of people are discouraged from becoming physicians because of the extensive time commitment the schooling and training require. Most people--those who've not experienced medical school, will tell you the length of training is due to the massive amount of information students must absorb in order to be competent clinicians.

Wrong.

We've all seen The Matrix. We all know that acquiring essential medical knowledge can be as simple as plugging a firewire cord into your brain stem and downloading the WebMD knowledge base into your head. So what's the real reason? Well, now I know.

The purpose of lengthy medical training is to lock away potential doctors until they no longer have the urge to laugh at hilarious medical sights and sounds. Plain and simple. But it's not our fault. It's funny when an enzyme acronym sounds like a dirty word. It's funny that physicians test newborn reflexes by lifting the baby slightly and dropping them back onto the table to observe whether they start writhing around. It's funny when the cursor on the computer screen is positioned in such a way that it appears to pick the nose of a woman giving birth. It's just funny.

So the next time you tell your doctor about the trail of vomit you left as you hurdled towards the bathroom from downstairs, thank the lengthy medical training they went through for allowing them to keep a straight face.