Sorry! I've Been Promoted!

My reign as the Ultimate Sorry! Champion lives on after a grueling five game series last night. The evening began with Jon coming out to a 2-0 start, but I skillfully rebounded to pull off the overall win by sweeping the last three games.

I must say that Sorry! is quite the amazing board game. It combines the mystique of Parcheesi but succeeds in liberating it from it's Yahtzee-like dice rolling, while integrating the colorful magnificence and superficial apologies of say, Pop-o-matic Trouble, and the space-age translucent playing pieces reminiscent of, well, space.

Anyways, I am now a teaching assistant (TA) for the Physics Department for the second semester in a row and I must say I am quite excited. Last semester was spectacular but the mechanics labs that I led were a little dull. Professor KB was a good guy and I'm somewhat sad to see him go, but I realize I'm now going on to bigger and better things.

Yes, and so it is with great pride that I say goodbye to Introductory Physics I, and give a hearty hello to Introductory Physics II. So long mechanics, pleased to meet you electromagnetism and optics. Nice knowing you Professor KB, and let me introduce to you now, the greatest of all the physics professors at Allegheny College, and the man who will supervise the labs I run.....

Ph.D. from Dartmouth...
Enjoys nuclear physics and sprinkled doughnuts...
Walks with a limp...
Fan of homestarrunner.com...
Thinks I'm awesome...

You guessed it, it's DR. DAN WILLEY!!!

Well I'm too excited to write anything else so...

Rob out.

Flashback Friday: The Joy Of Subpoenas (3/8/05)

I found out recently that I've been subpoenaed. Is that really the correct spelling? "Subpoena-ed"? Anyways, yeah, I'm not going to tell you why because it makes it more mysterious and I think it would be fun for people to try and guess what kind of super-cool criminal acts me and my homeboys have been committing against the helpless community. It's amazing how much your life changes when you've been subpoenaed. Since getting that piece of paper stating that I am COMMANDED to appear in court (it really says "commanded"), my social status has skyrocketed. Seriously, I just have to wave that little government document in the air and boom, instant access to all the the frat parties as well as dibs on first kick on loser beating day. Yeah, you heard me right, now I'M doing the beating. I don't even need to mention what this subpoena has done for my love life, but I will anyway. Before getting the subpoena my girlfriend was the fire-lady on the Samoas box (I named her Beatrice), but now I have more women than I know what to do with. I can't go anywhere without stepping on them because they all lay on the ground for me to walk on. It was sort of uncomfortable at first but now I've gotten used to the fleshy bounce that comes with each stride as I head to class. My roommate is so jealous and I think all the women I have is making him kind of angry. I've offered numerous times to lend him Beatrice for a few days, you know, to get through the lonely nights when I'm away with my sex mob (which is like every night, by the way) but he is too proud to give in. Besides all the attention I've been getting outside of classes, my academic situation has definitely improved as well. A good example was the other day in physics when we got our quizzes back. So Greeky McGreek (that's what I call my professor, his real name is Deep, and by my nickname for him you can see that he's Greek) handed me my quiz and I noticed that it did not say 20/20 on it but instead it said something like 18/20 or some crap like that. I wasn't going to take any of this so I went up to have a friendly word with Greeky. He said something like, "I took off two points because the velocity you found was off by at least a factor of 10,000..." but I wasn't listening. I whipped it out (the subpoena) and let him take a good, long look at it. By the time he got to the part that said I was "criminally awesome" he had already pulled out his pen and was changing the 18 to a 56. So yeah, people with subpoenas have power and that's a fact. So basically, if you want to ace college with a vengeance don't try to kill your roommate and say it was suicide or anything like that. The best thing to do is to get subpoenaed and leave the rest to your new best friend. Not to mention, you'll never be at a loss for companionship on those cold nights when your bed is feeling a little too big for just one person.

Chocolate Milk = Love

My roommate won’t get me chocolate milk. He’s going to McKinley’s and he won’t get me chocolate milk even though I want some.

In other news, physics lab today blew. The whole thing was slightly interesting except for the fact that it wasn’t. I mean, getting to see that equipotential lines actually exist and aren’t just a figment of Dr. Petasis’ imagination was cool and all but I think I understood the concept after about q = +4.00 nC. By the way, nC is not a unit of time but I figure if Han Solo got away with saying a parsec was a unit of time I can work it like that too.

But today wasn’t completely bad. Jon, Sarah, and I spent ample time at the playground north of Crawford Hall after the fantastically awesome picnic in Brooks Circle. I rode on the purple dinosaur for a good portion of the time but split the remainder of my time evenly between the fire chief car and the airplane that looks like a whale. I also rode the swings for a bit but decided to get off when a family came to the park to have an outdoor meal (I would normally just say “picnic” instead of “outdoor meal” but I already used the word “picnic” once in this thing so another time might be slightly awkward). The family had a little boy and he was really good at golf. He had this big, blue, plastic golf club that I doubt was regulation size by PGA standards but I’ll let it slide.

I also learned today that the dopamine producing neurons in the substantia nigra that are killed resulting in Parkinson’s disease are destroyed by means of laser death ray. While this may seem far-fetched at first, when you really think about it it’s not that crazy of an idea.

Well that’s all I have to say at this point in time.


P.S. My roommate just got back from McKinley’s and he brought me chocolate milk!!!