Metrorail vs. British Monarchy

It's almost disgusting how much the Queen of England and the people who drive Metro trains have in common. Here's a little taste of how I see it:

Metrorail Driver: sits in the front of the train and looks pretty.
Queen of England: sits in a chair and looks pretty.

Metrorail Driver: gives passengers the finger as he strolls by.
Queen of England: waves at the citizens as she strolls by.

Metrorail Driver: can't understand him because of thick "black man" accent.
Queen of England: can't understand her because of thick "British" accent.

Metrorail Driver: doesn't know what a crumpet is.
Queen of England: eats crumpets.

Metrorail Driver: only a figurehead. Giant computer at Metro Control has the power.
Queen of England: only a figurehead. Prime Minister has the power.

Metrorail Driver: crushes riders in doors because of incompetence.
Queen of England: Ireland

Metrorail Driver: hides behind tinted glass so you can't see/murder him and steal train.
Queen of England: hides in palace so you can't see/murder her and steal throne.

Metrorail Driver: is useless in every way.
Queen of England: is useless in every way.

Metrorail Driver: has a website: http://www.wmata.com/default.cfm
Queen of England: has a website: http://www.royal.gov.uk/output/Page1.asp

Metrorail Driver: probably never met Superman but probably met Batman.
Queen of England: probably never met Superman or Batman.

Metrorail Driver: stinks.
Queen of England: is stinking rich.

Metrorail Driver: drives the train down into the ground.
Queen of England: drives her country into the ground. (zing!)

Metrorail Driver: is not an astronaut.
Queen of England: is old.

Metrorail Driver: likes to hang out with his dawgs.
Queen of England: has fourteen dogs (according to royal website)

Metrorail Driver: eats a lot of refined sugars.
Queen of England: is refined.

So as you can see, the Queen of England and Metrorail drivers have a lot in common. Many people would disagree and say that the Queen of England isn't totally useless but they're just in denial. Sure, she has a fancy name, large, elaborate hats and a seemingly important and influential position, but in reality her life is a sham. She just sits there, smiles at people, and walks around a little bit. Sometimes she'll throw a medal at you if you did something special but when you get down to it, she is the most worthless, lazy, good-for-nothing, person in her entire country. I mean, think about it, nobody in her "royal bloodline" has had a real job in hundreds and hundreds of years.