The Return to Mutant Headquarters

I went back to the mutant lair today like I said I would in the previous entry on the subject and they still have not caught on to the fact that I am not of their world. My hair was slightly ruffled today and my shirt was orange with stripes so that may have been the helping hand I needed to ease their suspicions. Plus, I consciously tried to blink my eyes significantly more often than usual and this coupled with my constant outbursts of X-Men quotes every few minutes no doubt gave me the credibility I needed.

I decided to have lunch at the Subway which is located there, and since I was craving a meatball sub I ordered one up. Now I'm not up to date on mutant eating customs or traditions but I can say that I've been to non-mutant Subway's as well as the Subway website and I see nothing talking about differences between mutant and non-mutant franchises so I just assumed they were supposed to be identical. Of course, as I should have guessed, they aren't. In the surface-dweller world meatball subs involve meatballs in a tomato-type sauce that are placed on bread and most likely covered with cheese of some sort. While the mutant meatball sub is very similar, it differs in one area. Instead of using tomato sauce as a substance in which to bathe the meatballs, they use water. By the time I noticed the watery meatballs being placed on my roll by the mutant worker it was too late. Accepting my fate of having a waterball sub and knowing I was powerless to stop it, I willfully gave in and said yes when he asked me if I wanted "extra sauce."

The rest of the lunch was fine except for the excessive amount of ice they put in my root beer since mutants have not yet accepted self-serve soda machines as a necessary staple of everyday existence and thus I was at the cashier's mercy when it came to the root beer to ice ratio. I also noticed while eating that, along with the secret Metro entrance, there is also a secret elevator that goes up into the office building directly above the mutant food court. I saw numerous business people going in and out of these elevators (which required a swipe of your security card) and thus assumed that this was for mutants who wanted to try and assimilate into surface-dweller society while maintaining the safety and piece of mind that came from the "roots" these elevators effectively created with the old country or "mothership" as I colorfully refer to it.

Let us wish the mutants luck in their endeavors and hope that, when I find the time to return to their proud civilization, I will once again be greeted by a thriving and prosperous society and not by the rotting remains of a once grand empire brought down by giant rats that encroached upon the food court from the endless maze of Metro tunnels wherein it currently lies as an oasis of sophistication in a savage world.