Today I consumed the most succulent strip of beef you could ever hope to devour. It was so tender and juicy and the flavor was intense. I figure the experience closely resembles what it would be like to take a big bite out of Buddha's stomach. I don't think I'd ever make it as a Buddhist because I'd probably always be trying to marinate him in my mind and I don't think that would lead to enlightenment. At least it wouldn't be the shortest path.
Also, today I ran through my front yard with moths flying around me. I pretended to be their chief deity and waved my hands around and watched them fly in the directions I pointed. They probably did this because my flailing arms made air-vortexes that constantly sucked them up. I also shouted boasts like, "I am the porch light!" and other clever phrases.
Oh yeah, I played Mouse Trap today and I got to the end and turned the crank and watched the whole chain reaction thing go down but my friend moved her mouse out from under the spot where the net falls at the last minute and I said that was cheating but she just laughed. Her and I also like to replace the yellow bucket thing that the man dives into with a bowl of chicken noodle soup and pretend that he dies when he falls in because either the soup is hot or he gets strangled by a noodle.
All in all I think my life is reminiscent of when a roller coaster stops while upside down because somebody wasn't strapped in well and they fell out and died. It's kind of sad but also very thrilling because you can pretend you are more powerful than Batman. Also you are upside down which is exciting.
Bye bye.
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